There was an
old man with a beard
Who
said, "it’s just how I feared!
Two owls and a
hen
Four larks and
a wren
Have all built
their nests in my beard.
- Anonymous
Hydrogen bonding
Electrostatic partners
“O!,” “H!,” stop flirting.
Unfortunately the best physics one was a serious lament by Rachel Jones:
Physics makes me cry
Physics makes me wanna die
I hate physics so.
If you go and read this link, you can read all about limericks. Let us make this at least of the level of a lady being present to read them (some can be quite bawdy). They are, of course, five lines, with the abba rhyme scheme.
One of my favorites is about the daughter who eloped and took her dad's bucket full of money:
There was an
Old Man of Nantucket
Who kept all
his cash in a bucket.
His daughter,
called Nan,
Ran away with a
man,
And as for the
bucket, Nantucket.
- Anonymous
Chemistry students, write yours about balancing chemical equations or naming chemical compounds and quantities. Physics, write yours about sound or universal gravitation.
Here is my attempt:
There was a chemistry teacher
at Kosciusko,
Who made students learn deeper
than one momento.
They kicked and they bucked.
They got their parents riled
up and even said he sucked.
Now some see the show and
actually know.
-Super B
Happy Limericking! If there are any others actually reading this blog, feel free to summit yours as well.
There once was a hunter named Paul
ReplyDeleteWho strangled nine grizzlies one Fall.
Nine is such a good score,
So he tried for one more
But he lost. Well, you can't win them all!
Great form - does it have deep metaphorical meaning about balancing equations since it involves counting bears (atoms)?
DeleteThere once was a boy named mark
DeleteHe was terribly scared of the dark
He was scared through the night
Till he bought him a light
And now he's only scared of sharks
Sound comes from vibration
ReplyDeleteAnd can be heard all over the nation.
We'll kick and we'll scream,
We'll rise up with steam,
But Banks will make sure that we learn it.
Now we are talking!
DeleteThere was a lady named Hannah,
ReplyDeleteWho slipped on a peel of banana.
As she lay on her side,
More stars she spied
Than there are in the Star-Spangled Banner.
Last line "than atoms I a combustion equation"
DeleteClever
One day I was surprised to see
ReplyDeleteA chemist, crouched on bended knee
My advice Mable,
Get on the table,
It still happens, periodically
Chemical equations make me numb
DeleteThe teacher is a bum
It makes me want to get high
sometimes die
But I'm not that dumb
I'm impressed Coryana
ReplyDeleteThere was a chemist once from Lahore
ReplyDeleteBut sadly the chemist’s no more
For what he moments ago
Said was just H2O
Was really H2SO4
Now! And what would that last compound be called?
Deletesulfuric acid
DeleteMr. Banks is being a hero
DeleteBecause he isn't giving me a zero
But I'm really just sad
I'm not the only one whose bad
Don't plagiarize
Haiku
DeleteChemistry is hard
I hope I can get an A
But that will be hard
A student in Chem 342,
ReplyDeleteWas making a chloroform stew.
It got on the box,
And melted his socks,
And the whole course he had to redo.
And I hope it does not happen to you!
DeleteDo you know the chemical formula
For chloroform?
There was a teenage girl in Chemistry
ReplyDeleteShe thought of it as a mystery
Her thoughts ran together,
She had to learn better.
Chemistry, it's still a mystery
Awesome -
DeleteMaybe change last Chemistry to Yet
There was a teenage girl in Chemistry
ReplyDeleteShe thought of it as a mystery
Her thoughts ran together,
She had to learn better.
Chemistry, it's still a mystery
Mr. Banks just had surgery on his back.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Felton isn't cutting us any slack.
We miss you old dude.
She is really kinda rude.
When Chemistry ends, I'll need a 6-pack.
Does the six pack qualify for a balanced equation ?
DeleteA woman in liquor production
ReplyDeleteOwns a still of exquisite construction
The alcohol boils
Through magnetic could
She says that its's "proof by induction"
If you are going to plagiarize at least spell coils right - shame on you Jeremy - shame,shame
DeleteThere once was a wonderful star
ReplyDeleteWho thought she would go very far
Until she fell down
And looked like a clown
She knew she would never go far.
Shame on you to steal a limerick from a little girl !!
DeleteThe soil had so much uranium
ReplyDeleteIt killed my prize geranium.
It would have won shows
But now it just glows
Enough to light up a stadium.
Really? Could you not make a lame one like Lane?
DeleteHydrogen is element one
ReplyDeleteIt's abundance is second to none
Though it is commonly found
In other compounds
Due to its single electron
A very forced rhyme but cool
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBenzene A century and a half ago, Chemists wanted to know, How atoms convene, To make up benzene, But frankly they had nothing to show. The bonds of which benzene’s comprised, Should not be equally sized, But that’s the array, Proposed by Kekulé, Because the electrons are delocalised.
ReplyDeleteBe original!!!!
DeleteThis is Andrew Clark's limerick:
ReplyDeleteIf anhydrous your reaction must be,
Use only flame-dried glassware, Said he.
Run argon with care,
To keep out the air,
or FOOSH! There goes the BuLi!
In chemistry room two twenty five
ReplyDeleteThe class is always live
We work in the lab
Even though we are always bad
Because greatness is why we strive
Not too lame Lane
DeleteThere once was an old man of Esser,
ReplyDeleteWhose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he’s a college professor.
Not you Avery - no way - you stooped to google too - shame shame - I knew that one
DeleteIn physics we've been talking about sound
ReplyDeleteIt makes the band members feel proud
We studied a lot
Some more than not
When we finally finished, we were floating on a cloud
Hooray!!
DeleteThere was a fellow named Judd
ReplyDeleteWho thought Chemistry was in his blood
He felt quite able
To make the unstable
Hexanitro-amino—BOOM—Oh crud.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChemistry should be a crime
ReplyDeleteIt takes up to much of my time
I go there everyday
and I don't have a say
Chemistry is as gross as slime
A dying mosquito exclaimed,
ReplyDelete“A chemist has poisoned my brain!”
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane
Im about to graduate
ReplyDeleteA different sub everyday is what I hate
All this homework I never do
I did this limerick just for you
I'll see you when you come back ok?
There was an old guy named Kepler.
ReplyDeleteHe wrote the first 3 physical laws ever!
They involve the planets and gravity.
He dedicated his life to that activity.
Johnnes Kepler was pretty clever.
Now we are talking!!clever Kepler
DeleteCan't believe it's true, I must be a fool
ReplyDeleteIt seems chemistry is getting harder in this school
It's making me very sad
Too see that my average is really bad
Maybe next year I'll use a better learning tool."
ReplyDeleteI was coming to school driving through traffic
I have a chemistry test on all the acids
As I walk to Banks's room to take this test
In hopes that I do my best
Dear God help me not to be in any extra classes
-Jada
There once was an old man of Esser,
ReplyDeleteWhose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he’s a college professor.
At first chemistry was confusing,
ReplyDeleteAnd I felt like I was losing.
Now that's it's almost over maybe it was fun,
or was it just a pun?
It's really quite amusing.
Chemistry seemed easy at first
ReplyDeleteBut now seems like I'm cursed
So happy it's almost over
Cause anymore my grades will suffer
Coming up on that senior thirst.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePlaying football,
ReplyDeleteIs considerably easy considering I'm quite tall.
I love the sport,
I'm not that short.
Chemistry can be a ball.
At first chemistry was boring,
ReplyDeleteIt made me go to snoring.
Now I'm balancing equations,
And I'm the best in the nation.
All of the knowledge I am absorbing.
The compounds of sodium are great,
ReplyDeleteIf you can tell chloride from chlorate.
One makes food taste good.
The other clears weeds from under the hood.
Don't be mistaken or you will regret it.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFinding numbers to match is a mind-boggle
ReplyDeleteThere is no throttle
To control the mind
Balancing makes you want to unwind
And try again later
Balancing chemical equations may be greater
Chemical equations is a boggle.
I was sitting in chemistry class
ReplyDeleteWaiting for time to pass
Sitting and wondering
Daydreaming and pondering
Watching the hourglass
Chemistry to Super B comes with ease
ReplyDeleteAnd teaching it to his students is a breeze
But on the test they become uneasy
And some a bit queasy
While all of them would plea
You nailed that
DeleteThere was once a blonde headed girl
ReplyDeleteWhose hair didn't like to curl
She fell on her face
Because chemistry didn't give her grace
And now her world is a swirl
Hope it did not hurt or effect your appearance
DeletePHYSICS
ReplyDeleteThere is no imitation
For universal gravitation.
Newton’s law was stated
And later on, heavily debated.
It definitely made for an interesting conversation.
CHEMISTRY
There’s nothing quite like balancing equations.
You must rise to the occasion.
Getting the right coefficients,
Guarantees you’re proficient.
There’s no playing around with chemical equations.
Chemistry is a must
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is a bust
Banks is always happy
Although the class is crappy
In this brain of mine if nothing but dust
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteA chemistry equation
ReplyDeleteStarts with a reaction
Yields a product
With an experiment we'll conduct
They even use multiplication
Carefully mix each chemical compound
ReplyDeleteIf you don't your head might spin around,
Choose the right elements to combine
Then you ought to be just fine,
If it is wrong don't have a meltdown
(Mentally and physically ������)
There's a science shortage, I heard.
ReplyDeleteThe students think it is absurd!
It is really sad,
That they think it's that bad.
Just ask Banks, the job's wizard.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAvogadro's number... What are you???
ReplyDeleteSimply 10^23 times 6.02!!!
What does this simple mole enable???
Any conversation found on the periodic table.
Finding them all, from Atom to F.U.
Avogadro's number... What are you???
ReplyDeleteSimply 10^23 times 6.02!!!
What does this simple mole enable???
Any conversation found on the periodic table.
Finding them all, from Atom to F.U.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAudrey Claire is taking Chemistry
ReplyDeleteBut it's quite a mystery
She owes Mr. Banks an apology
Cause she told him
She wished she was dual credit Biology
There is this guy named Mr. Banks
ReplyDeleteI think he might wear Spanx
He tends to be really cool
But his class makes me feel like a fool
So please come back to school Mr. Banks
Chemistry is killin' me.
ReplyDeleteIt just makes me want to hit my knee.
These subs are so cruel
Mr. Banks come back to school.
I'm being serious B!
There were men who made great discoveries
ReplyDeleteEven one of them was from Germany.
They created formulas and laws
that really helped us after all.
Thanks to them and Super B, we are educated about universal gravity.
Cool
DeleteMr. Banks is pretty cool
ReplyDeleteBut not so much when it comes to school
His class gives me headache
And my grades give me heartache
Now leave me as I lay in my tear full pool
Chill it is not that bad
DeleteThere were men who made great discoveries
ReplyDeleteEven one of them was from Germany.
They created formulas and laws
that really helped us after all.
Thanks to them and Super B, we are educated about universal gravity.
The world had four on
ReplyDeleteIts table of elements. More on
It were later brought
And chemistry taught
But to learn all these names? May be boron
There was a man named Banks
DeleteWho sometimes goes blank
He also can be strange
But sometimes he can be very derange
Teaching chemical equations with his achy back
I sit and try to write something clever.
ReplyDeleteA single limerick we will remember forever.
I ponder about the natural world and chemistry.
After failed attempts, my writings win your sympathy.
So I then decide to write about my endeavor.
This is our method, essential
ReplyDeleteFor equations we solve, differential
It gets the job done
And it's even quite fun
We just try a routine exponential.
This is Joseph lymric:
ReplyDeleteI was told this was for a grade
So I I think I have it made
Because this poems about chemistry
It's all about the industry
At least that's what they say
This is Joseph lymric:
ReplyDeleteI was told this was for a grade
So I I think I have it made
Because this poems about chemistry
It's all about the industry
At least that's what they say
How does say rhyme with grade?
DeleteMy poem is five lines long
ReplyDeleteBut not as long as a song
It may not be the best
But I think it will pass the test
Unlike this poem my answers in class are wrong
Not always
DeleteChemistry is for the birds
ReplyDeleteI don't understand half the words
I really just want an A
By the way
You're all turds
Foul mouth senior
DeleteChemistry is pretty simple trust me
ReplyDeleteIf you got Mr.b your lucky
We learn new things almost everyday
From diff. lessons to the activities we play
Don't complain your getting an easy A
-Dajah Lane
Easy A in your dreams
DeleteI don't usually rhyme,
ReplyDeleteBut my grade is on the line.
So i have one thing to say,
Equations have quantities like months have days.
If you're reading this you wasted your time.
Not completely
DeleteFor a bullet, a train, and a gun,
ReplyDeleteAdding their speeds can be fun --
Take a trip down the path
Paved with Einstein's new math,
Where a half plus a half isn't one.
Chemistry used to be fun
ReplyDeleteBack in the year of 01'
Now it is too hard
But good thing we have Banks for the job!
Sound is all around.
ReplyDeleteYou may feel it through the ground.
We hear sounds in many frequencies,
as we study them gleefully.
We have found many sounds as it pounds.
Not bad love the frequencies gleefully rhyme
DeleteA dozen more equations occurred to me,
ReplyDeletethe possible solution rose to thirty.
I was told this limerick was for a grade,
so I believe I have it made.
Why did you make us write a poem, Super B.
Thirty and poem - interesting rhyme
DeletePhysics is really hard to do
ReplyDeleteBut tennis is hard too
Tennis is like physics in many ways
To learn, it takes a lot of days
If I pass physics will someone make me cheese fondue
I might
DeleteThere once was a lad
ReplyDeleteWho was fealing quite sad
He had a test
At word equations he wasn't the best
He studied hard and didn't do that bad
Not bad for someone with senioritis
DeleteEverything makes sound
ReplyDeleteOnly with physics is it found
Trumpet is my friend
Im playing my trumpet till the end
My trumpet makes crazy sound
Not bad
Deletemr. banks is crazy in the head
ReplyDeletebut we'll blame it on the meds
chemistry is an odd class
I'm just trying to pass
done and off to bed.
Rest well
Delete
ReplyDeleteJohnny was a good old boy
Although he is no more
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4
There once was a Prince in a Palace.
ReplyDeleteWho wanted a sense of balance.
So he called up a friend,
and invited her in.
So now they both can raise up a chalice.
-Taylor Musselwhite
Physics isn't as bad as I make it.
ReplyDeleteIt actually at times is pretty lit.
I learn more than I think.
Although at the beginning I stink.
But I'm getting better thanks to Banks.
the pitch of a sound is its frequency
ReplyDeletesuper b taught us this easily
once you find the speed
then you can proceed
determining the wavelength quite speedily
Clever
DeleteThat grey metal arsenic is the best,
ReplyDeleteTo get rid of unwanted pests.
Whether it be rat, bird, or mouse,
Beetles or crickets in your house.
Arsenic will rid you of these guest.
A dying mosquito exclaimed,
ReplyDeleteA chemist has poisoned my brain!
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane
There once was a chemist, Swiss
ReplyDeletewho, seeing colors, felt something amiss.
He later percieved
that on that day he received
LSD's first chemical kiss!
-This is TraKeisha's limerick
Sound makes me frown
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of clowns
Now it's almost done
My first fear was to run
Now I've turned around
While physics can be quite engaging,
ReplyDeleteWithout you, my mind is slowly fading.
Now that you have arrived,
It surprises me to say that I'm happy you've survived.
My heart is elating.
Chemistry is fun
ReplyDeleteBut you must like math for it
Which is not for me
There was a fellow named Judd
ReplyDeleteWho thought Chemistry was in his blood
He felt quite able
To make the unstable
But then he failed- Oh Crud
Electrons behave
ReplyDeleteas if they were crazy things
in covalent compounds.
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ReplyDeleteBalancing equations is really not lit
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be in a extremely dark pit
I got to tell you the naming is quiet weird
I'm gonna shed a tear
I quit
By Riley Watson
Chemistry is a class
ReplyDeleteThat is kinda hard to pass
Super b is wizard
And he has a lizard
Who can find the molar mass
Bruce Banner was feeling quite green,
ReplyDeleteAs he mixed gamma rays with benzene
The flask fell with a crash,
The rest, a big smash
Chemistry Hulk was on the scene
Some say super b is a fool
ReplyDeleteI think he's pretty cool
Some say chemistry is easy
That just makes me queasy
I'm so over school
There once was a girl named Irene
ReplyDeleteWho lived on distilled kerosene
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon
And since then has never benzene
Chemistry just sucks
ReplyDeleteAnd mister banks makes it's worse
So my grades are crushed
Chemistry is cool kinda like some
ReplyDeleteNice dry ice
Or cold ice cubes
By Riley Watson
DeleteThe wall is high.
ReplyDeleteThe army stands nigh.
They siege for a term.
The wall stands firm.
Finally the army says bye.
Balancing equations is not fun
ReplyDeleteI can not wait until the summer so I can chill in the sun
Chemistry is very stressful to me
Sometimes studying is not the key
It is the end of the year I am almost done
I thought all day I thought all night
ReplyDeletestudying for words that end in -ate and -ite
I studied and prayed that I will get all a's
Looking at this stuff for what seems like days
I had a dream one night that everything will finally be alright
Haiku:
ReplyDeletePhysics can be fun
Physics can also be hard
Work, Study, Achieve
I know you are in pain
ReplyDeletebut there is no gain
so don't be a liar
it's time to retire
you will forever be remembered in the chemistry hall of fame
by: lane and Jeremy
I really don't care
ReplyDeleteChem. Makes me lose my hair
B treats his class like a game
But it's really just lame
You make me hate my life
Chemistry is so fun
ReplyDeleteSike you were about to call me dumb
Balancing these equations are too big
I promise you I will grab that diploma
And jig.
Chemistry is hard,
ReplyDeleteI do not like it at all.
Chemistry is bad.
- haiku
Chemisty isn't so bad.
ReplyDeleteBut I still hate it.
When Super B is teaching.
I feel retarded.
Goodbye chemisty my time has come.
There once was a chemist named Banks,
ReplyDeleteWho plays with the spider in the tank.
The tank once fell and busted,
The spider then got away,
Oh no the lizard actually ate it for prey.
I'm fresher than potassium
ReplyDeleteYour mom said your lacking calcium
Mr. Banks needs to use some fluorine
Because his breath smells like chlorine
My mix tapes hitting platinum
The periodic table seemed long
ReplyDeleteBut now I remember I'm wrong
When super b pushed the limit
Our minds for sure go in it
And now it is just a song
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChemistry is stressful and fun
ReplyDeleteIt has taught us many things like the one noble gas neon
On test day in Super B's room
Everyone is doom
But when the bell rings I'm on the run
Our chemistry teacher Mr. Banks
ReplyDeleteMust think he is a human tank
He has puzzled our minds
And made us go on tremendous finds
To only end up walking the plank